The Battle

We fight
My ego and I
A bitter battle of will
Unending and unyielding
Both determined to find weakness in the opponent's defence
Both searching for any sign of fatigue
But my ego never tires
It never sleeps
While at times my walls grow thin
My resolve wavers
My light dims

Just a little

But in these moments
As in every moment
You are always there
When I start to slip
You remind me of the gift that the battle holds
The glorious mysterious treasure
That becomes more and more clear
With each confrontation

For with every collision
That my ego and I have
My heart is purified and cleansed
And through this process
I am able to see more clearly
To understand more deeply
To love more sincerely
And to shine Your light more truly
To a world that is desperate
To gaze upon your beauty

My Heart's Desire

Grant that I may serve You as a mother
That I may serve You as a wife
That I may serve You in every aspect of my life

"With this prayer doth Thy servant call Thee, at dawntide and in the night-season.  Fulfill his heart's desire, O Lord!  Illumine his heart, gladden his bosom, kindle his light, that he may serve Thy Cause and Thy servants." -'Abdu'l-Baha

How do I?

How do I sacrifice more deeply?
How do I love more completely?
How do I align my life more with Your will?
How do I ensure my cup, I eventually fill?
How do I draw closer to You with each passing day,
And learn to see colors in what is only grey?
How do I feel Your gentle breeze,
And recognize the confirmations I receive?
How do I see in each test sweet gifts,
And ensure my heart never drifts?
How do I pray with greater ferver,
And live life as more than just an observer?
How do I know I am who You wish me to be?
How do I become a bird, flying high and free?

A Promise

Come into My arms, that I may fill thy heart with My love
Come into My arms, that I may keep you safe from harm
Come into My arms, that you may taste the sweetness of reunion with Me
Come into My arms, that you may see the truth of My gifts to thee
Come into My arms, that you may know the glory I wish for thee
Come into My arms, and I will comfort thee
Have faith, My love
Believe in Me, and you will feel all that is already yours

Sacrifice

As a seed is sacrificed so new life can grow

So too do I yearn for sacrifice

To give up this vulnerable, small form

For the growth of a new and beautiful reality 

To cast aside all attachment 

And in so doing rend asunder the veils blurring my sight

Make me as dust in the pathway of Thy loved ones

That I may forget myself completely

Waft to me the sweet fragrance of true vision

And grant that I may die to the world and live only for You

This is my heart's desire

Veils

Sometimes I feel confined

Lost and blind

To the purpose of my service

Wandering in darkness

Unable to harness

The glory and gift of this experience

Sorrow consumes me

That I cannot serve Thee

In the way I would like to

And for a time, I am lost to You

As I struggle to break through

The veils I cannot see

Resplendent

A pearl

Its surface reflecting the glory

Of it's untold story

Imperfect, yet glorious

By its very nature victorious

Shines resplendent within you

Within me

Every experience

Adding a layer to our being

A boundless ocean freeing

Us from the dust that gave us this form

From the ego's storm

Drawing us further from ourselves

Towards God

I choose this form

To shape my inner self

A manifestation of the wealth

You placed within my heart

Your glorious art

I must polish the mirror of my soul

And let Your light shine through it

Resplendent

He is the All-Glorious!

He is the All-Glorious!

And I am but a drop
A tiny seed who's potential has not even begun to sprout
A lamp so shrouded, it's light barely shines
A mirror so dusty, it barely reflects the sun's rays

He is the All-Glorious!

The ocean of His Words is my sustenance
The soil of His Love my comfort and succour
The light of His Will my inner guide and compass
The warmth of His Manifestation my life force

He is the All-Glorious!

To Be Alive

Empty parchment, dusty strings
Lost in the quiet that summer brings

The pressured air, the exhausting heat
I barely feel my heart beat

I miss the winter's grace, her music fair
Singing life into me with her crisp clear air

A whispered wish, softly flows to the shore
To greet this moment and feel alive once more

The Struggle to Fly

I'm edgy, rough, shaky
Confused by the feeling
Judging myself for breathing
For speaking, for thinking

I feel myself sinking
Back down to the material world
My wings sullied by forces of destruction
Pulling from within me

Screaming to be set free
I fight to stay still
Few inches gained, but also
Few inches lost against my will

I will never stop fighting
But will I ever make strides
I beg to draw closer
To where Your essence resides
I am fighting the darkness
Your distant light my only guide

My Promise

I will take your hand and walk with you
Through this world of anguish and sorrow
I will lead you to a place you cannot picture
Though you dream about tomorrow

Though I know I've failed you many times
I will not fail you now
You will never again feel alone and abandoned
We will learn together somehow

I will be here with you through your hurt and sadness
Guide you when you've lost your way
Comfort you through your fear and doubt
And help you to bask in the light of each day

We will grow and learn hand in hand
Two pieces of one soul
Until someday this fragmentation is healed
And we again become one whole

Forever

Today, 03 June 2014, will be 5 years I have been blessed to serve here in Haifa, Israel. I wrote this song in March of 2010 after I had been here about 9 months and it is as true now as it was then.

Adele Dodds is playing the piano.



I wanted to pick one photo for each year to share with you.... But that was impossible.... Here's the best I could do :)

Five years in Haifa:

August 2009 - Shrine of Baha'u'llah

December 2009 - The Negev

March 2010 - The Seat of the Universal House of Justice

June 2010 - Ben Gurion Avenue (photo taken by Adib Roy)

June 2010 - Baha'u'llah's Prison Cell Window in Akka

June 2010 - Paths of Stone

December 2010 - Sunset on a Haifa beach during the Carmel Forest Fires

April 2011 - Bahji Visitor's Centre through the flowers

June 2011 - Monument of Bahiyyih Khanum

June 2011 - Pilgrimage

January 2012 - Staff Entrance to the Seat of the Universal House of Justice
I had the amazing bounty of serving in this building for over 4 years. 

May 2012 - Flowers on the Hillel Stairs
(I lived on these stairs for 4 years) 

June 2012 - Mazra'ih 

July 2012 - Archives Building and the Shrine of the Bab

November 2012 - A bird cloud and Haifa Bay

March 2013 - The Shrine of the Bab from a view point behind the Seat

May 2013 - The Shrine of Baha'u'llah on Ascension night

October 2013 - Bahji at sunset

March 2014 - The Shrine of the Bab

May 2014 - House of Abdu'llah Pasha in Akka

May 2014 - Bahji

May 2014 - Bahji

The Essence of Who I Am

I remember sitting on your lap as a child

There was no place safer in the whole big world

Your arms around me, held me close to your side

And my heart and soul were yours

I remember sneaking into your bed at night

When my mind would race, you'd hug me tight

I'd fall asleep in your arms, safe an secure

And my heart and soul were yours

     My soul responds to the beauty of your light

     The gentle love in your crystal blue eyes

     Your smile, your laughter, your voice in my heart

     You are the essence of who I am 

I remember Saturday mornings, sneaking out of the house

Taking in the sun, two morning birds just you and me

I treasure each and every memory

And my heart and soul are yours

I remember walking through airports, through trials

Giving each other the strength to move forward

We walk this world together, no matter the miles

And my heart and soul are yours

     My soul responds to the beauty of your light

     The gentle love in your crystal blue eyes

     Your smile, your laughter, your voice in my heart

     You are the essence of who I am

Though separated by great distances

Our hearts never stop beating as one

We will walk forever as we always have

Mom and daughter, hand in hand

     My soul responds to the beauty of your light

     The gentle love in your crystal blue eyes

     Your smile, your laughter, your voice in my heart

     You are the essence of who I am

You Are Light

This isn't exactly a poem, but I've been writing music for the last four or five years. I don't have that many songs to my name, but I thought maybe it is time I share some of my songs on my blog :) I wrote this one last night. It is very poorly recorded (haha my first experience using Garage Band), no idea what I did to make it so echo-y, but you get the idea :)


(I wrote this to myself, but I think it's what we should all tell ourselves and each other)

A Lover's Persecution

The Bab's death left a hollow

No words can ever fill

And the horrors that would follow

Leave the ink of my pen still

In the torment of His lovers

One can find no greater pain 

Yet with each story one discovers

The heights of love we can attain

The years following that tragic day

Were filled with grief and confusion

And the actions of a few who lost their way

Ignited a new wave of intense persecution

Thousands were mercilessly tortured and killed

For believing in the power of His Blessed Name

Yet the goals of the clergy were never fulfilled

For their deaths only served to fan the Faith's flame

The essence of the love felt by each man who died

Could not but affect the hearts of those who observed

For their steadfastness and joy could not be denied

Nor their gratitude for the end they were served

These persecutions have not yet ceased

Though they've continued over one hundred and fifty years

But through the sacrifices of it's tormented lovers in the East

The Sun of His Glory continues to reach new frontiers

A Symphony of Light

A symphony and delight

The wondrous mid-day sky

A dance that fills our sight

Tween the sun and clouds on high

Without the clouds both grey and white

And the contrast which they each supply

We couldn't appreciate the glory of light

And see in tests God's loving eye

Upheaval

The ground is moving

Control slips through shaking fingers
The upheaval removing

Any barrier that stubbornly lingers

A light is in the distance

Foreshadowing a glorious fate

As the walls of resistance

Fall before destiny's gate

The ego's reign crumbles and collapses

As understandings meet and collide

Now the only thing left to do perhaps, is

To sit back and enjoy the ride

The Ripples of Existence

He stands by the rail

Staring out at the expanse of ocean

Contemplating the depth of humanity’s tale

The ripples we each set in motion

These temporary swells

That disappear into the vast calm sea

Are as the greetings and farewells

Of a moment with eternity

The water's ebb and flow

Forced aside by his journey's advance

Tell of distant shores where waves will show

The impact of their passage's dance 

For though we live for a moment's breath

And pass quietly through with no commotion

The effects we leave long after our death

Are a testament to our love and devotion

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The Bounty of Rain

As the clouds roll in

The air warms and my heart soars

The flowers reach out in longing and anticipation

For the flood of grace that will pour from the sky

The water falls 

Gently and beautifully painting the world with life

Showering existence with new energy and vigor

A gift of God, given to revive and restore

The earth sings it's gratitude

As the air is cleaned and purified

The dust and dross of this world washed away

All colors vibrant and glorified by the bounty of rain

Bahji in Bloom

Red and green paint my vision

Life and beauty a mural of grace

Between the soul and the world there lives no devision

When walking the pebbled paths of this place

The tension that lives outside of these gates

Slips silently away with the glorious breeze

And my heart's delight patiently waits

As I walk down the line of cypress trees

My feet never falter in their quest to attain

The Mystery entombed in that sacred room

And I would give my life to ever remain

On this path of His love, as the flowers in bloom