Longing for Beauty and Innocence

(a pantoum)

This longing lives deep within me

Trees of green and nature's glory

For a place I once felt safe and free

For northern lights and endless stories

Trees of green and nature's glory

Explored through childhood's purity

For northern lights and endless stories

Paint pictures of joy and security

Explored through childhood's purity

The magic and wonder of life

Paint pictures of joy and security 

Free from all pain and strife

The magic and wonder of life

As lovely as the rain in the sky

Free from all pain and strife

Soaring as high as an eagle can fly

As lovely as the rain in the sky

This love in my heart still holds true

Soaring as high as an eagle can fly

Alaska, I pray once again to greet you

This love in my heart still holds true

For a place I once felt  safe and free

Alaska, I pray once again to greet you

This longing lives deep within me

Light and Shadows

Why do you weep?
In darkness alone. 
Silence your only friend
In a graveyard of stone. 

Why do you hide?
With these ghosts of bygone times 
And climb into the graves
Of self-inflicted crimes

Why do you yearn? 
For the dawn's first brilliant rays
Yet walk alone in blindness
In the clutches of night's maze

Why do you dream?
Of a life you hold at bay
Haunted by the choices
And scars you won't betray

If you look into the shadows
Tween the sun, the earth and moon
You'll find no respite from the wails
Of time's eternal tune

So learn to walk towards the light
Past the gates of endless fear
And you'll find hearts waiting for you
To invite them to draw near

A Legacy of Love

Two hearts who put their faith in God
When they went to that threshold to pray
Built a legacy of love filled with joy and light
Which I honor with wonder today
Founded upon a certainty
That they were meant to be with one another
They joined hands and hearts thirty years ago this day
And later became my father and mother

A fleeting moment was their time on this mountain
Yet those precious years are the essence of our story
For their love was created and added to twice
In the shadows of His ancient and radiant Glory
Their service and sacrifice were a beacon in our lives
A foundation on which we learn and grow
And my heart overflows as I stand here today
Where our journey began thirty years ago

The Search for Purpose and Reason

Rain doesn't fall, it pours

From my eyes into emptiness

Broken only by confusion's obstacles

Softened only by the silent echoes

Of a heart's fearful release 

There is no peaceful departure

No calm after the storm

It comes and it goes as a lighthouse beacon

But instead of exuding safety

It bleeds uncertainty and despair

My body grows weak, heavy

Its senses obscured by loss

Loss of emotion, loss of its life force

Loss of stability, loss of clarity

And so, hollowness finds a home

Empty and lonely, my heart searches

For the light of purpose and reason,

It asks the same question over and over

Are You here guiding me?

Holding my hand as I weep?

Will sunshine come again?

Questions, filled with doubt

Lost in "someday's" endless maze

The present weighs on my heart

And I sit in confused silence