On the Edge of Reality

Sometimes I have to talk myself down

From the edge of a cliff
Where I stand, frozen, believing the rim will break
And I will fall
My heart pounds and my fingers grow very cold
In anticipation
I hear the wolves behind me, screaming and taunting me
Telling me there is nowhere left to turn
I see only the insignificant and failed attempts to get away
Which brought me to this cliff
I can't breath, my body is numb, my mind flipping in circles
Useless and unhelpful
Often it is a combination of others and my heart
That get me to step back
Recognizing that the cliff I see and feel in my mind
Isn't actually really there
That the howling I hear is actually coming from within me
Not from another creature
The first step is to back off the ledge, slowly, carefully,
One step at a time
To take a deep breath, calm my mind, feel my feet
On solid ground
To warm my body, others share their strength and love with me
Gently bringing me back to life
Then they help me to find strength and love within myself
For it is there, even when I can't see it

Waiting

I sit at the peak of a tree
Waiting for the sun to rise, for the wind to pick up
For the confirmations to shine and to flow
Telling me to wing my flight
And guiding me to glorious heights

Other birds taunt me as they fly past
Not understanding why I sit here waiting
Unaware of the turmoil inside my heart
The anguish and worry in my soul
Uncertain and yet certain at the same time

When I lose my focus and determination
I am beckoned by the world below
I question my resolve, my reasoning
Whether I'm actually making the right choices
Whether I truly have any value

I wonder whether the future is as dark as my ego leads me to believe
Praying for His light to shine and warm the chill
That has filled my soul in it's absense
Yearning for the wind to pick up and start billowing
It's presence guiding me towards His light

But nothing happens, not yet anyway
I sit and I watch and I pray for the strength
To believe in His light within and surrounding me and it's ability to guide me
To continue to follow the path that God wishes of me
Even if for the time being, it requires patience

Patience

I sit at the peak of a tree
Waiting for the sun to rise, for the wind to pick up
For the confirmations to shine and to flow
Telling me to wing my flight
And guiding me to glorious heights

Other birds taunt me as they fly past
Not understanding why I sit here waiting
Unaware of the turmoil inside my heart
The anguish and worry in my soul
Uncertain and yet certain at the same time

When I lose my focus and determination
I am beckoned by the world below
I question my resolve, my reasoning
Whether I'm actually making the right choices
Whether I truly have any value

I wonder whether the future is as dark as my ego leads me to believe
Praying for His light to shine and warm the chill
That has filled my soul in it's absense
Yearning for the wind to pick up and start billowing
It's presence guiding me towards His light

But nothing happens, not yet anyway
I sit and I watch and I pray for the strength
To believe in His light within and surrounding me and it's ability to guide me
To continue to follow the path that God wishes of me
Even if for the time being, it requires patience