Tuesday, September 15, 2015

The Darkness in Me

When someone sees the darkness in me
It is like eyes piercing into the shadows of my heart
Fear holds me silent and still 
The suspense kills me as I stand frozen
Unable to move forward or retreat
Unable to breathe
I wait for the bullet to fly
The judgement, the loss of worth, the rejection

As I stand there I am filled with anger at myself
For standing there, unable to breathe or move
For believing the implications of that bullet's existence
For seeing the darkness in them as well and in others
For not being able to fix their shattered opinion of me
For believing their opinion would be shattered in the first place

When someone sees the darkness in me
It is my own eyes that pierce into the shadows of my heart
It is my own judgement that holds me silent and still
It is my own belief that causes bullets to fly
It is my own rejection of who I am

But what would happen if I looked with forgiving eyes
If I stared into the dark murky corners of my heart
Into the dark murky corners of everyone else's hearts
And took a little bit of light into them with me
Someday would they simply disappear
If darkness is truly just the absence of light
Then the darkness in me and in others
Are simply empty, lonely areas 
Just waiting to be filled 
With light


1 comment:

Dorm parents: Oonagh and Randy said...

Truly Beautiful... miss you so much!!
:) Oonagh